Only eight hours

I just found out that in my state, the plowers are only allowed to work eight hours because they are not willing to pay them overtime. Which means when there is a snowstorm and their eight hours are up, then we're screwed. I'm glad my life and the life of so many others are not worth overtime pay.

What my ad for a man would look like

Wanted: Fun loving (playful)-sense of humor (I need someone who can and will make me laugh)
Affectionate/Loving***
Lover of books, music, and movies (foreign films a must)
Faithful
Considerate
Easy going/Does not loose their temper easily*****THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TO ME.
Likes/Loves to dance (this is a hard one since most guys I know don't fulfill this. Ironic considering the pheromones flying around when dancing is involved. How can man not want to participate in this ritual?)
Intelligent (but not cocky about it)/curious
Not afraid to try things
Ambitious
Creative
Doesn't care what others think (besides, of course, me)/Doesn't need to prove himself.
Allows me to express myself w/o making me feel judged, embarrassed, or silly
Selfless
***Someone who I can be myself around****
Patient/Not easily angered***
Passionate

Okay, so far that's my list. And again, since it is 3:25 in the morning, I know I am forgetting a few things. I will have to add those later. Even though I have some stars next to some but not next to others, that does not mean the others are not very important to me. The stared items just happen to be things that I have had recent experience with and have realized just how dear they are. I don't know, hard to explain. Anyone who has any inputs please let me know. I'm curious about what might be on you guy's list.

Two

Second in the people I admire series is my cousin Vanessa. How can I describe her? One of the things I admire most about her is her confidence. She knows who she is and what she's about and never doubts it. She is not one of those people who talk a lot or needs to be the center of attention. She doesn't need that. Her confidence is a quiet kind that you can feel and see and that does not need to be forced on you. Those who have met her know what I am talking about. And those who have not, will hopefully one day meet her and understand the truth of my words. When you meet her, her body language says take me as I am world; love me or not, but this is who I am and who I am going to be!

Last week

I know what you're thinking. Two post in one day, the fat lady has sung and pigs are flying! Well, okay, maybe not that drastic. I decided to write about what I did last week. It always feels like my week off goes by real fast and then when I start working, there's a brief period of amnesia where I can't remember anything I did doing my time off. I need to get better about recording them here so that I can always look it up when I'm ask, "so what did you do last week."

Wednesday: Helped my sister out with her business since the girls she hired where flaking out on her. It was tiring, but fun. I met quite a bit of guys while there. But, unfortunately, only the type that were fun to flirt with and not interesting enough (for me at least) to go out with.

Thursday: Although, I am as anti-gun as you can get, some of my guy friends decided to take me out shooting. Well, first it started with an article with various examples on why it's important to know how to protect yourself. I will attempt to post the article as soon as I can. One of them mentioned the fact that it's always wise to know how to use the weapons around you. And that the whole point of really owning again is to discourage others from attacking you and yours. Most of the time, he said, you will not even need to fire at anyone. Back to the shooting. Three of my guys friends took me to this place where we it could be just us practicing. I was freaked out when I first started. But I have to say I was impressed with myself. With both a .45 and a .22, I was able to hit all my targets. I only missed one. I did not expect to be able to hit anything at all. And these guys were amazing and patient.
Afterwards, we went out for Italian. The real stuff. I had a blast.

Friday: The real highlight of Friday (and the only thing I can really remember)is dancing. Three girlfriends and I decided to hit the clubs. Okay, just one club, but it was a great decision. Because we were girls, we were able to get in a lot sooner than we would have otherwise. Gosh, I love being a woman! We danced the night away. Yes, I did feel a couple of hands grab my butt, but I was quick to slap them away. A few man learned that invading my private property came with a lot of pain and consequences. The throbbing in my feet later on was definitely worth the discomfort.

Saturday: My roommate's nieces came to spend the night. They were a riot! They were six, five, and two going on thirty. I laughed the night away. It always feels good to have children around. They were full of love.

Sunday: Church was good. By the time it ended, I felt peaceful and warm. My roommates and I worked on a skit we were preparing for the talent show. These girls make life...full. I needed them in my life right now.

Monday: The Talent Show. I never realized before just how talented the people around me were. I was impressed. Then our turn came. And of course, that is when I became nervous. No one ever believes me when I say this, but I am so shy, especially in front of a big group of people. I started to shake. But I was so busy looking at the other girls as we squeezed our whole bodies into XL sweaters, that I soon forgot all about my nervousness. I didn't worry about doing everything perfectly, I just...had fun.

I had a lot more I wanted to say, but it's getting real busy at work right now. Hopefully, I will continue to be good about sharing all the adventures I will continue to have.

Pros and Cons

The pros and cons of working graveyard.

Pros: -I can't stand having to get up early Monday mornings after a wonderful weekend.
-ummm...I know there was more. I will have to think of it on my day off.

Cons: -Miss all the wonderful social activities at night when most people are clocked out of work.
-Go to sleep in the dark and wake up in the dark (at least in the winter).
-The human body was just not meant to work that way (what with cortisol levels and all). Even when you sleep well doing the day, you're still tired during the night.


I guess I can't make this list as impartially as I would like to since it's 0242 in the morning and I am at work ans still have three and a half hours to go.

Renewed vow to be a good blogger

Last month, I was horrible at being a good blogger. I will make it a goal to write more this month. I will even attempt to post twice in a day, if that is at all possible. I feel like so many things happen that I never write about. But I have repented. From this day forward, I will never not blog again (at least this month :)

The miracle of life

My heart is in a major high right now. For the last couple of weeks, I have had a family member that's been very sick. They had to put her in a chemically induced coma. But good news everyone: she's doing so much better that since of today, they are taking her out of it. Yahooooo!

One

The first person I would like to mention as someone I admire in my "Admiration series" is my niece. Of course, being her aunt, I am absolutely in love with her. I couldn't love her more if she had been a child of my own body. I watched her come into the world and I have watched her as she has reached the ripe old age of three.It has been fascinating to me to watch her develop the attributes that will become a part of who she is as more years go by. She is a bundle of energy. And oh so smart. The list of things that she does and says that make me admire her is extremely long. What she loves, she loves well and no one can do or say anything bad about that thing or that person which she holds in affection. The other day my sister said how horrible of a mother she was while my niece was still in the room. Well, my niece was not having it. She turned on my sister and said "You're a good mommy. Don't say that. I love my mommy." How cute is that?! She is curious about everything around her and is willing to take as much time as she needs to learn about whatever catches her attention. And one of my favorite; she is fearless. This quality is also a scary one for me. I have nightmares about the kind of Shenanigans she can get into. But her courage is a trait that I very much want to assimilate into my own personality. What would the world be like if we all had the courage to step outside our comfort zones and put ourselves out there? I am happy to be fortunate enough to have the chance to look at the world through her eyes.

Power

"The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed."
-- Stephen Biko


I think we can pretty much apply that to anything in our lives.

The Framers of the Bill of Rights did not purport to "create" rights. Rather, they designed the Bill of Rights to prohibit our Government from infringing rights and liberties presumed to be preexisting.
-- Justice William J. Brennan

America did not invent human rights. In a very real sense, it is the other way around. Human rights invented America.
-- Jimmy Carter

Vote for Obama...cause he's black

I went shopping with my sister yesterday. They had an amazing sale of J Crew items. While not being a shopper (I detest shopping. Get me in then out as quickly as possible), I admitted to my sister that this was an opportunity not to be missed. While the cashier was ringing our items, she kept making ignorant comments which I was trying my best to ignore. And then right before we were done, she said "I'm sure I don't need to ask who you're voting for." Luckily for her, my sister was turned away on the phone and did not hear that comment. Lets just say that my sister does not suffer fools easily. At first, I just stared at her not really comprehending what the heck she was talking about. And then it hit me. Why does whom I vote for have to be a racial thing? Did that mean that she was voting for McCain because he's white?! Well, I told her, nicely and patiently, that I was looking at the campaigns and the policies of each candidate to make an informed and confident decision. She did not reply. I don't know why and to be honest, I did not care. I cannot stand to be reduced to a skin that just happens to be black. Why is my mind or my heart dismissed? I do get a lot of ignorant comments, and most of the time I understand that it's a lack of knowledge on their part. And that they need to be educated. It does not mean I am not annoyed or hurt sometimes by these comments. I do NOT have to do, like, or say certain things because I happen to be black. I love who I am and my skin goes with it. But my skin is just a piece of me. It is NOT a definition of who I am.

A daunting task

Here I was sitting in a chair next to my brother-in-law while he was hard at work studying at four in the morning, when suddenly, an amazing idea lighted upon my mind. What is beauty? It seems as if the world only finds beauty in physical things. I must admit, I have spend quite a bit of time admiring the beauty of others in a...physical way (there are beautiful men out there:) But while on a trip to Yellowstone National Park, I was taken aback with the fact that I am a very lucky girl. I begun to ponder about the people I admire. Not in a way that makes me feel the need to compare myself, but in a way that either challenges me to improve myself or just causes me to be pensive in some way or another. I have decided to feature them in this blog and explain, if I find the words, why I hold them, or at least one of the traits they have, in such high esteem . These people have lifted, encouraged, confounded, humored, challenged, and beautify me and others around them. This will be quite time consuming since I encounter and have amazing people in my life. And so I decided to divide the task. I will feature someone every time I can. I'm excited. They will be people who leave me in awe and take my breath away. We'll see what else I will add. I'm still uncertain about how exactly to proceed with this. But it is something I very much yearned to do.

To touch or not to touch...

Jacky was one of the men I met while volunteering for Les Petits Frères de Pauvres. We made an instant connection. I’m not sure if that connection was bad or good. You will understand as you read on. Jacky and me immediately made plans to spend time together (that was what I was there to do, spend time with them no matter what we did). The first couple of times were fantastic. I loved it and I loved him. He wanted to make sure I saw all the wonderful places in Paris and experience all the great restaurants. He was from the North of France and had a different accent from the Parisians. It was adorable. But Jacky had this one little problem; He love women. Not that that’s a bad thing, but…well…let me finish the story and you will understand. After it just being usually me and him when we went to our little outings, another volunteer arrived from Utah. From that point on, it was always Jacob and me. We rarely spent anytime separated from each other. Jacky was NOT happy with the change. Jacky could be perverted and vulgar, but he tried to restrain himself when he was with me. But when Jacob came it was as if there had been a treaty between Jacky and me that was broken. I became pretty uncomfortable with the things he would say and saddened because that was not MY Jacky.
One day, we went to Paris Plage. It was Herve, Abdallah, Eduard, Amelie, Jacob, Jacky, and me. While walking there, Jacky decided to walk next to me. He had been distanced and had not given Jacob and I a chance to visit with him. I was very sad. I thought for a minute that my Jacky was back, but I was so, so wrong. While we were walking, I looked to my left at the Seine and suddenly felt a weird sensation on my right breast. It seemed that Jacky had decided to give my breast a squeeze ( a long up and down squeeze). I was surprised and shocked. I looked over at him to see that he was bright red and smiling. I said, “Jacky, did you just touch something that did not belong to you?” And he was too busy smiling and being happy to give me a response. All that kept going through my mind was “I can’t believe I just got felt up by a 55 year old pervert!” As you can all see, I had quite a bit of adventure in Paris…sigh…I miss those days 





I use to have better pictures of everyone. And some...interesting pictures of Jacky, unfortunately, my laptop broke down on me after I downloaded the pictures and have lost them all. The only reasons I have these is because I e-mailed them to some friends and they were able to send me copies. As you see, most of the time, Jacky was fond of suits, trousers, and anything gentlemanly. It was just the way he rolled :)

Habeus Corpus

I consider our constitution to be one of the greatest written masterpieces. I don't think when the Founding Fathers were writing the constitution that they thought one day someone like George Bush would be president. Many unconstitutional occurrence have occurred in the last eight years and it is now people are waking up and asking questions? What saddens me is that they (or we, because I've done my share of overlooking)have become more interested in the government because of the state of the economy right now when they've realized that things are not going their way. But it seems they are still ignoring all the other things that's been going on. Things like the fact that other branches of the government have taken it into their hands to momentarily displace Habeus Corpus when it is only Congress that is allowed to do this and only under certain conditions. I feel tired and disappointed. How are we going to fix anything if we keep our blinders on about the state of our government? I hope we will truly be pensive about whom we vote for this election. That we will listen and search before we decide. That we will remember that we are not suppose to represent the government; the government is suppose to represent us.

My date with Adam

Adam was one of the most fun and creative dates that I have had in forever. For our date we went on a hike and photographed anything and everything that caught our interest. He brought his tripod for this activity. Poor guy carried it around for quite some time, but it was wholly worth it. These words that I'm using to describe the date do not begin to describe the quality of the date itself. He was a blast to be with. And my favorite part was that he kept me laughing the whole evening. Here are some pictures that are a result of this adventure of ours.

Seizing the Day

Okay, I'm finally going to do it. I'm going to take the MCAT! Med school is something I've wanted to do for years (since I was a child, actually). But one thing or another kept veering in my path and I swayed away from realizing that dream. I want to be a wife and a mother. That is my number one priority . But this desire is not waning and I feel it is something I am guided to do. I know Heavenly Father will help do what I need to do to for Medical school and for my family. Thank goodness He knows me better than I know myself. I can completely trust Him and His guidance. In my list of things to do before I die that I made years ago, applying to med school was number one. No longer will I drift with the waves of the sea. I will act; I will seize the day. I am filled with excitement! I can't begin to tell you how calm, content, and charged I feel. I feel like the kid in this picture (↑). I'm being taken for a ride and boy am I enjoying it! :) I'll just have to make sure to maintain a social life. Friends and family, I'm counting on you guys to help me with this no matter what I say.

Now, one of the most stressful part; studying for the MCAT.

Sleepwalking

This morning was my last morning at work (I work the graveyard shift for seven days and then I have seven days off). On the morning after my last graveyard I usually stay up for about 26 or 28 hours. Well let me tell you, it is exhausting! Well, after my bellydancing class, I started talking to a friend on the phone. The next thing I know, I was sitting on my bed. I have a vague recollection of starting my walk home, but everything else is unclear. How can half an hour be wiped out of my mind? I have no idea what my poor friend thought as we "conversed". But this made me realize how amazing the human body is. My body knew where to go, eventhough my mind (my conscious mind) was not there to guide it. It also obviously knew what to say to reassure my friend that I was still listening, when in fact, I was a million Zs away. The other thing is that, my body needed sleep, so it went into some weird hibernation while I was still, supposedly, active.

In 1987, a 23 year old male killed his parents-in-law while he was sleepwalking and was found not guilty. I wonder if my friend will forgive me as easily when she finds out that I slept (?) through half an hour of her telling me how horrible she feels when her feelings and words are not acknowledged or dismissed? I think I'm way beyond tired now. I'm going to bed, hopefully I'll remember writing this in the morning:)

My grand performance

A couple of nights ago(or mornings, days and such gets complicated when you work the graveyard shift)I decided to stay awake by listening to love songs. I, sometimes unfortunately, am a hopeless romantic. I blame this on the fact that as a child I was always surrounded by my aunts (there are eight of them). It started out simple enough. I wanted to listen to “I’m not that that girl” from Wicked. From that point it moved to Aida, Rent, then Olivia Newton-John. Sadly, everything went downhill from there. And soon, I was standing on my bed singing my heart out (as quietly as possible since my roommates were asleep)with my imagination creating a theater filled with people who were there to see me perform (in my PJ's no less). You know how they say we all have guardian angels around watching over us? Well, my guardian angel must have been rolling around on the floor laughing and calling others to join him in watching me make a fool of myself. But I had a great time! I really should do it more often.

This is a picture of me making a fool of myself as, once again, my imagination took flight. From this picture, you can imagine exactly what I looked like that sad, long ago night (okay, two nights ago).

My love affair with Paul Newman

When I was seven, I saw “Cat On a Hot Tin Roof.” I fell instantly, madly, and helplessly in love. Gosh, I didn’t know what hit me. Imagine your favorite dessert and that initial taste where your taste buds are bursting with pleasure and sensory overload, then perhaps you will be able to imagine how I felt as I watched Paul Newman. It was originally a play but they had to change a few subject matters in the process of making it a movie.
How do I love Paul Newman? Let me count the ways... Okay, obviously, there was his looks. I melted when I looked at him. But besides that, he was an amazing actor who truly enjoyed his craft. He was a good guy with a great heart. He created "Newman's Own", which is a company that donates all of it's proceeds, which has been more than 200 million dollars, to charity. He was politically involved, something that many people in the U.S don't seem to be. And he was a devoted family man. I read in a couple of places that when asked about infidelity he usually replied, "Why go out for hamburger when you have steak at home?" What is there not to love about this man?
I’m posting a clip below of one of the scenes from the movie. I’m not saying it’s the best scene, but it is a great scene. I hope you will all go out and rent the movie. If you do, tell me what you think.

This is the movie that also started my admiration for the acting capacity of Elizabeth Taylor.

Men Wanting Emotion Robots Need Not Apply

I have recently started reading "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. In one part of the book she talks about her relationship with a man named David, whom she was madly in love with him. Unfortunately, her relationship with him waned as more trials entered her life. Suddenly, she was no longer the confident, passionate woman he had met. She was now clingy and needy.
What is wrong with some men that they would even think that way? I have often heard men refer to women as "clingy" and "needy". In many of these cases, I have known the women involved and know for a fact that these men are just being insensitive morons. I am not saying that such a thing does not exist, but seriously, are those terms applied sometimes to women who are just at a hard stage in their lives. Or only having a bad week? Why is she expected to be cheerful, intelligent, indulgent of her man, and physically perfect? Why can't she have a moment of being sad, hurt, tired, and perhaps lonely? Why can't she turn to her guy needing physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual comfort without being told she is asking too much and her guy is too tired to indulge her. And of course all those times she has indulged him in his vulnerability is forgotten. Suddenly, she has ceased to be interesting, intelligent, and all the things he thought she was.
A friend of mine once broke down and cried in front of her boyfriend. Instead of comforting her, he informed her that her showing that weakness of her characteristic was a real turn off. Well, I guess some men, then, prefer robots who will be all that you want with no emotions involved...except perhaps their hero worship of him. And they are welcomed to her. I personally do not need that kind of men in my life.

9 Words Women Use

I was emptying my e-mail of old mail (lets just say I’m an email pack rat) when I found this e-mail sent by my friend, Katja. I hope you get as much of a laugh out of it as I did.

9 words women use

Fine:

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes:

If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing:

This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes.

Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

Go Ahead:

This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

Loud Sigh:

This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

That's Okay:

This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks:

A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

Whatever:

Is a women's way of saying Flip off!

Don't worry about it, I got it:

Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is
now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

Allez Les Bleus...What?

I once volunteered with an organization called Les Petits Frères des Pauvres. An amazing organization that is very big in certain parts of Europe that was founded because of one man’s passion for and desires to help those less fortunate than himself. There were two parts to this organization. One part was helping the elderly in whatever way they needed help. The other part was teaching the homeless whom they had found a home for how to enjoy life. That meant whatever it took to make them appreciate all the good things that life has to offer. One of the people from this group was Jean. He was a character. And I adored him! But Jean had one obsession (okay, two if you include his love of sweets, which caused him to have his last two teeth removed, he cried--gosh he was adorable), soccer. The fortunate year that I found myself in France was during the World Cup (you have no idea how crazy people can get around that time...well...there is the superbowl, so maybe you do have an idea). Whenever there was a game, the only way I would get to spend time with Jean was if I watched them with him. He was the sweetest, calmest guy...unless he was watching soccer. Then he would scream "Allez les bleus." (go blues..cheering the french team on) or "imbecile!" It depended on what was going on with the game at the moment. And that is where my obsession with soccer started. He was contagious. Sad to say, at least sad for Jean, I no longer obsess over the game. But there are so many things to obsess over; I have to give them each their turn ;)

Second Best

I don't know why but lately it seems like I've been everyone's bottom of the pile. For example:

"I'm sorry Laureen, I can't spend time with you because after we spoke I made plans with another friend of mine. We're going..."

"I'm sorry Jules, I can't go to the gym with you, this guy..."--I know, the opposite sex usually seems to take priority over friends. Sigh...

"I'm sorry Laureen, but I would much rather be with this girl..."

"I'm sorry sweetheart, but your brother really needs me more right now."--this from my mom. My MOTHER of all people. Well, they do say the middle child is never loved. Jk :)

There's nothing like having a series of these happening that make you feel unwanted, unattractive, and unappealing (0n many levels). It makes you feel very insecure. Insecure is not something anyone should feel. I feel like a kid who is being traded off between my divorced parents who have their own lives and do not wish me around. I notice that I've been closing off. Dismissing others before they can dismiss me. And that is not who I am. I refuse to be the kind of person who is so closed off, no one can get close to her. Anyways, I decided that I needed to do something about this. Trust me when I say it's not a good feeling being last on everyone's list and not a good feeling to empty my list so that no one's there to hurt me. I want to come up with a plan to get rid of these kind of experiences and stop dwelling on self-pity. I don't know what it is yet, but as soon as I come up with it I'll let you know. Sorry this has been a bit of a sad post. But next one should be happier, especially if I am able to think of a plan :) On a lighter note, I looked up "second best" on Wikipedia and this is what It said, "The Theory of the Second Best concerns what happens when one or more optimality conditions are not satisfied in an economic model."