Thursday, October 21, 2010

Over 24 hours of no sleep/Meditation

I had a huge exam today and, unfortunately, was only able to study for it for 2 hours last week.  I was in quite the state this week trying to get a presentation done and study for this exam.  I finished my presentation yesterday (which is when I had to give it) and that was when I was able to study for my exam.  I have not slept in over 24 hours studying for it.  I felt wide awake when I took my exam this afternoon, which I was not sure I would be.  I expected to have crashed already.  But now I think the thrill of being done with it is still keeping me up. 

On a different note, I've realized lately just how important it is to meditate.  Everything around us is so noisy.  And we keep ourselves constantly occupied.  When do we get the chance to commune with ourselves and with our Father in Heaven?  I am really bad at taking time to just ponder.  But I am trying to make it a goal to do this at least a little bit every day.  We'll see how it'll go :-)

Monday, October 4, 2010

The miracle of life

My aunt suffered a stroke last weekend and it was tough.  For a while, we did not think she would make it.  I was constantly going back and fourth between school, work, and the hospital.  And I was sleeping over the hospital, which is not a very restful place to be.  I think I got about six hours of sleep all together last week.  My sister was doing the same thing.  She was going back in fourth between her family, school, business, research, and the hospital (this woman truly astounds me with all the things she can do). It was a busy week for us, but it was definitely worth it.  To see my aunt's face light up when we came in the room (even when she could not move much).  Family really does play a big part in helping their love ones heal. And when The doctor found out that this was her sixth stroke, we cried.  Sixth stroke!  I am not sure I would have survived a first one. What an amazingly strong woman to have survived those.  And the miracle is, she is doing much, much better.  She is also regaining strength on the right side of her body, as well as her speech.  She went home today from the hospital. I LOVE MIRACLES!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Dating through text

I have nothing really exciting going on.  School and work pretty much occupy my time.  Well...maybe not ALL my time.  I have made a commitment to myself to be as social as possible.  And I have to admit that I have done pretty well at this...for now :) 

I made a goal to go on at least one date a week.  And so far so good.  Last weekend, I was in way above my head.  These three guys were texting me about dates and I had already fallen asleep by the time they text me.  Well, I woke up and said yes to all three.  Yes...for the same night!  Well, you can't blame me too much, people.  I was half asleep!  I ended up cancelling all of them.  But honestly, why are these guys waiting until the last minute to ask for a date?! They wanted to go out the next night.  AND what is up with them TEXTING me about it?  An old fashioned phone call is all I am asking.  To be honest, my interest in them waned a bit after this.  I am still going on a date with them, but I am not that excited.  It's sad because they are all nice boys.  I told them that they needed to plan ahead of schedule next time and then I would have the time.

Am I being too picky or unreasonable?

Thursday, August 26, 2010

UPDATES

  I have been insanely busy for many reasons. One, I started my master's study in Pathology (or biomedical research) on Monday and until Saturday, I did not have a place to live.  I was not homeless, just wanted to find a place in the same city I was going to school.  Did not want to commute because I can't stand it! But luckily, I found something on Saturday close to school and moved in Sunday.  I can tell my classes are going to be intense.  Yet, I feel flutters of anticipation go through my body constantly. I am following the right path.  My heart feels good and happy.  And my mind feels as peace and stimulated.

 Something else that has kept me busy is that I had family visiting from out of town and of course, I had to show them around.  It was fun...and crazy.  The last of them left on Sunday.

I had a relationship end recently and to be honest, I am relieved.  It had dragged on much longer than it should have.  Now we can both move on and find people that will make us feel happy and excited.  I've made a new rule for myself.  No more long distance dating.  There's only so much growth a relationship can have when you only occasionally spend time together.  That's twice I have tried it and twice that it has not worked out.  My next one, I hope, will be close to home.

Many new chapters in my life, we'll have to see where it leads!  I'll be better about keeping you posted.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Who would you have been?

We look back in history and often think one of two things.  One, "What an amazing and brave person who did so much for..." or two, "I can't believe that anyone would do something like that, it's so..."  Sometimes we think "I would/could never do that."  Is that true?  I could not help but wonder, who would I have been. Am I who I am today because there is a basic part of me which is unchanging.  Or am I a product of my environment?  I read this quote by Bruce Barton that says, 

 "If you have anything really valuable to contribute to the world it will come through the expression of your own personality, that single spark of divinity that sets you off and makes you different from every other living creature." 

Is that spark of divinity infinite?  Would Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Eleanor Roosevelt, Winston Churchill, Susan B. Anthony, or Martin Luther King have been who they were if they had been born at a different time or place?  Well, I believe that even if they had not had the issues they had to deal with, they would have been fighters for other things.  They would have stood for something whether great or small.  Yes, we are a product of our environments, but that is not all of who we are.  Look at this quote by Susan B. Anthony,  does it sound like she is just the person she was suppose to be for the time she was born in? 

"Cautious, careful people, always casting about to preserve their reputation and social standing, never can bring about a reform. Those who are really in earnest must be willing to be anything or nothing in the world's estimation, and publicly and privately, in season and out, avow their sympathy with despised and persecuted ideas and their advocates, and bear the consequences." 

No one wants to be persecuted, friendless, or hurt.  But there are people out there who sees things that are not right, things that needs fixing, and they are unable and unwilling to just do nothing. Could we have seen an injustice and done nothing?  Who are we?  Who am I?  It's so easy to look back and think, "I am not that brave" or "I am not that cruel."

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't believe that Hitler and Stalin were meant to be cruel people.  I believe that they had strong personalities that were willing to change things.  Unfortunately for the world, they always made the wrong decisions.  They used that power to hurt, submit, and commit acts of such cruelty that I cringe to think of them.  My heart sorrows for those who experienced the results of those wrong and weak decisions.  But it was a series of small erroneous choices that lead to the hate and violence felt by a large group of people.  Who are we and who are we willing to be?  What decisions would we have made?  What decisions have we made?

We don't necessarily have to change the world...at least not at first.  But we can change the lives of a few people around us.  If we died today, what would people say about us?  What would our friends and family?  We can change their lives for the better.  Again I ask, who are we willing to be?  Our core personalities do not change, but we can change how our personalities are directed outwards.  I am so hesitant and unassertive sometimes that I wonder at the decisions I would have made in the place of Martin Luther King.  What decisions could I make today if I am faced with a major issue?  I don't know and because of that I need to start working on the daily things I do/say now so that in the future, I can answer this question unhesitatingly.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."  Edmund Burke

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Educational Progression

       One day, I was listening to conference at work when suddenly the idea came to my mind that I needed to apply for my masters.  I sort of laughed at the idea b/c that seems like such a waste of time to me.  Why would I apply for my masters when I am going to apply to med school?  But then randomly, my co-worker started talking about how she's never regretted getting her masters.  I thought, "well, I better look into it."  I looked at BYU and the only masters they really had in the sciences was the masters in science education.  I was DEFINITELY not interested in that.  I looked at UVU and their programs sucked.  And so I finally looked at the U and they had a masters in pathology.  I thought it was perfect!  It was located in the med school.  I felt like it was a program I needed to do. What a great way to prepare for med school!  Around the time I was looking at that, it was the 5th or so and I saw the application deadline had been on the first.  I couldn't understand it.  How can I feel so guided to do somethings only for it not to work out?

       Well, I felt like I needed to contact the admissions office and when I did, they said they did accept late applications but I would have to check with the department I wanted to get my master's in to be sure if THEY accepted late applicants.  When I contacted them the next day, they secretary said it was too late and that letters had been sent out and I would have to wait until spring.  I saw no point to waiting until spring.  By then I would be done with most of my pre-med classes.  But if I could start the masters in the fall, it would take me as long to finish that as it would my pre-med classes.  It sounded perfect!  Perfect until I found out I couldn't do it.  I was very disappointed.  But then, the idea came into my head to contact the director of the program and so I did.  After talking to her for awhile, she said that if I could get my application in as soon as possible, she would consider me.  I was overjoyed.
      I worked as hard as I could to get everything to her.  The transcripts ended up taking a little more time to get there than I hoped, but it got there.  I think about two weeks later I received a letter.  I was not home when it came and so while with Mika, I asked my mom to open it for me. She played a cruel trick by telling me it was a rejection letter :)  But in all actuality, it was an acceptance letter and now I start the program August 23rd!

     I don't know which one of you have read The Alchemist (which I highly recommend), but I feel like I am following my omens.  And because I am everything is lining up so that I can accomplish my goals.  Life, right now, if filled with so much possibilities.  I love it!

Friday, June 18, 2010

Milk Banks

I was reading a Newsweek article about Milk banks.  If you don't know what they are, no worries, it was something new to me as well.  Milk banks are places where parents who cannot lactate ( either because they are adaptive parents, or male, etc...) can get the antibody, vitamin rich breast milk of another woman.  These breast milk products are screened just like blood products are since you can catch viruses and other things through breast milk.  But it cost 3$ an oz and since babies drink approximately 30 ounces a day, it could get a bit expensive.
Fortunately, I guess, some of these parents found other avenues that would cost them...well...nothing.  There are women in the U.S. who want to share freely with others of their milk.  They produce more than enough for their own child and want to give all the excess away instead of it going to waste.  The problem with this is, it's very hard to screen for diseases and other illnesses.  You are not practically guarantee safe nourishment for you child.

I found the concept interesting.  It just never occurred to me before that this was something that occurred. It's true that  breast milk is a baby's best option, but still the idea of getting it from someone else, if I was not able to provide it for my child, is such a foreign concept to me.  I asked myself after reading it whether I would ever purchase breast milk and I cannot imagine doing so.  I myself was only breastfed once.  My mother was sick after she gave birth to me and the doctors advised her that for my benefit, she should not breastfeed me.  I consider myself to be a pretty healthy person.  Perhaps if I was not, I would feel very strongly about using breast banks. Perhaps it's because I am not yet a mother and cannot understand the drive to provide the best of everything for my child no matter what.  Or perhaps it's because being a husbandless/childless independent adult, I've become a bit selfish in my thoughts and feelings. It could be for a number of reasons why I have a hard time imagining myself being one of the parents who use breast milk banks.

I am not against the idea at all.  I think it's great that parents have that option available to them.  And I think it's great that there are people out there who are willing to share so much of themselves to help someone else. I am just saying that I don't know if I would use one.  Would you?  Could you?

Here are a few links if you want to find out some of the benefits of breastfeeding as well as the link to the Newsweek article.
http://www.nrdc.org/breastmilk/benefits.asp

http://www.womenshealth.gov/breastfeeding/

http://www.newsweek.com/2010/06/16/others-milk.html#

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mountain Climbing

As some of you might know, I have a fear of heights.  It's not a paralyzing fear, but a fear nonetheless.  Well, a month or two ago, I went climbing indoors.  I was so scared, but it was fantastic!  What a rush.  Friday I took it one step further and climbed and repelled outdoors.  There were many times I was sure I was going to die.  I can be so clumsy sometimes that it was completely foreseeable that I would just accidentally step on a lose rock and fall to my death.  Not only did I not die, but I had an even better time than I did when I did it indoors.  I will definitely do it again! 

Monday, March 29, 2010

The Holi Festival/Festival of colors

http://www.utahkrishnas.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=100&Itemid=190

If you have never experienced the Holi festival, where spring is welcomed, then you have been missing out!  check out the website for more info.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Taking Chances

One of the worst things I've feared happened to me a while ago and...I was ok.

When it comes to matters of the heart, I am the kind of girl who likes to sit back and let it happen.  That does not mean that once action is taken towards me I do not reciprocate.  But I do not take chances.  Not when it comes to my heart.  I always thought it was because I was an easy going girl and I went with the flow.  But I've had a chance to look at myself lately and I've realized that I am a complete coward when it comes to love.  That was something interesting to discover about myself after all these years. 

It is ironic that in my quest to protect my heart, I have had it broken.  It was one of the most painful experiences of my life.  I was right, there is no pain that equals a heartache.  Nothing.  I've never cried so much in my life. To my amazement, though, I've learned so much from that experience.  Don't get me wrong, at times I still think, "When will this pain end!  I can no longer endure it!"  But even doing those times, I felt like it was worth it.  I've learned so much about myself as a woman.  And my heart has never been as open as it is now.  I took a leap of faith and have landed in a place I have never been before.  It's mysterious but full of life.  I feel like a new me.  I am no longer the Laureen I used to be.  I am no longer the Laureen that is afraid to love and be loved.  I am now a woman who knows that when she loves, she loves deeply, thoroughly, and faithfully.  And that I want a man with a faithful heart.  Not one that fades away easily and fast.  To me, that is not love.  At least not the kind I want.  Everyone has their own definition of relationships, friendships, and love.  No one person's definition is necessarily wrong.  But not one size fits all.  I cannot impose mine on anyone else, but I can know what fits me best and what makes me feel the happiest.  And being the sassy girl that I am, I know he will have to love me faithfully in order to put up with me for, hopefully, 30 or more years :). There really is nothing that compares to the feeling of being truly, completely, and unconditionally loved and wanted. And nothing to the warmth, fullness, and passion of loving. I feel like giving them the world, even when they make me mad or sad.  I feel like doing everything in my power to make them happy.  I will love again.  Is the pain worth it?  Yes...yes it is.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Mikarose Mother's Day Giveaway!

Mikarose Clothing Company is offering the ‘Marvelous Mother Giveaway.’ The Giveaway offers an exciting grand prize package which includes:

• Two Economy Class, round-trip tickets to Tampa Florida from any major city in the
Continental United States.
• A Five night Western Caribbean Cruise on Carnival Cruise Line.
• Round Trip transportation from Tampa International airport to the Tampa Cruise Terminal.
• A $100 dollar MikaRose Gift Certificate.

The sweepstakes runs from March 08, 2010 through April 12, 2010. To Nominate a Marvelous mother simply go to www.mikarose.com. Visit this same site to view the complete giveaway rules. No purchase is required to enter the Giveaway. Four finalists will be chosen and their stories placed online where individuals will have an opportunity to vote for the mother they feel deserves the giveaway out of the four finalist. The winner will be announced on May 3rd 2010.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

25 Fascinating Love Facts

I just read 25 love facts on MSN (http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlematch.aspx?cp-documentid=10416019>1=32023) and thought some of the things they mentioned would be great to share.  Especially with those of you I've had similar conversations with. 

1. Men who kiss their wives in the morning live five years longer than those who don't.

4. Feminist women are more likely than other females to be in a romantic relationship.

5. Two-thirds of people report that they fall in love with someone they've known for some time vs. someone that they just met.


7. Falling in love can induce a calming effect on the body and mind and raises levels of nerve growth factor for about a year, which helps to restore the nervous system and improves the lover's memory.


8. Love can also exert the same stress on your body as deep fear. You see the same physiological responses — pupil dilation, sweaty palms, and increased heart rate.
 
9. Brain scans show that people who view photos of a beloved experience an activation of the caudate — the part of the brain involving cravings.

17. People who are newly in love produce decreased levels of the hormone serotonin — as low as levels seen in people with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Perhaps that's why it's so easy to feel obsessed when you're smitten.


18. Philadelphia International Airport finished as the No. 1 best airport for making a love connection, according to an online survey.


20. A man's beard grows fastest when he anticipates sex.


 
8,9,17- No wonder people are so afraid to fall in love if these are the things that happen.  But the thing I kept thinking about after reading this list is that I NEED TO FLY TO PHILADELPHIA ;)

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

George

George is one of the people that I met on my trip to Haiti.  He is a Nurse Practitioner that I worked with.  He is an absolutely amazing person.  We had so much fun together.  He inspired me so much with his generous giving.  And his humble attitude.  I am so fortunate to have met people like him on the trip.  I received an e-mail from him and it just made me smile and laugh. 

Here is what he said:

Glad to have found you Easy to tell you are the sunshine in many people's lives, just by looking at the comments. It makes me laugh to think about how I, in a surge of brotherly concern for your safety, rushed to the morgue to protect you from any unknown dangers when you went looking for transportation for the elderly woman who died in our tent. I found you surrounded by those, obviously interested young men. Although you had the situation well in control, I offered to serve as your protction in the form of your husband. Whether or not they got that word or believed it, I felt honored you would allow me the dignity of being your protector.

I absolutely love that guy!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

I am back!

Just got back yesterday from my medical mission in Haiti.  I can't wait to start blogging about my experience there, but for now, I am just very very tired.  More tired than I realized I would be.  But to sum up my experience there, let me say this:

It was amazing! It was tiring, frustrating, annoying, heartbreaking, sad, happy, awe inspiring, humbling, delightful, and tender.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Relief Force to Haiti

I am excited to announce that I was accepted to be part of a relief force to Haiti!  I was suppose to have left Wednesday morning, but now (to give the people there more time to collect orphans that some will be coming back with--I think about 150) I will be leaving Thursday morning for three weeks.  I am so excited!  Imagine having the chance to help in a situation like that?!  I will be helping with the medical, construction, and translation part of things. To find out more info, check out this website http://www.utahhospitaltaskforce.blogspot.com/.

I am also scared because I have lead a very sheltered life.  I have never seen the things I will see.  Dead bodies litter the streets, something that anyone would find shocking.  They say that Haiti will become a country of amputees.  The earthquake caused many things to fall on people, destroying limbs.  And then people have had to cut off limbs because they did not have the tools they needed to save them.  It was either an arm or a life.

I know this trip will change me forever.  And I am hoping that change will be for the better.  Either way, it's worth it in order to save others.  Even if it's just one life.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Focusing on Haiti's beauty


I feel that a lot of what I hear of Haiti are the sad and ugly parts.  It is filled with beauty, love, charity, sadness, pain, violence, and many of the other things that can be found at other parts of the world.  But for now, I wanted to show some of the beautiful things that can be seen on this island.  My parents talk a lot of the nice things they used to see and experience as teenagers there.  They especially make sure to tell me these things when all I say of Haiti are the things I hear in the news.  These pictures are some that I found in a facebook group.  Since my parents have not been there since they were teenagers, they did not have modern pictures that I could post.  Hope you guys will like what you see!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Haiti

(photographer unknown)

On Tuesday January 12, 2010 a powerful 7.0 earthquake hit Port-au-Prince, the capital of Haiti. The earthquake only lasted for 30 seconds, but in that short time, everything changed. The destruction was massive and unexpected. This was the most severe earthquake that Haiti has experienced in 200 years. But even if they had known of an impending earthquake that was going to be this severe, it would have been extremely hard for them, the poorest country in the Western hemisphere, to adequately prepare for it. It has been estimated that most Haitians (~ 80%) only make two dollars a day. Imagine a country where ~80% of its people live below the poverty line. There is no way they could have planned adequately for this disaster.


Many were killed and injured during the earthquake. As of today (Wednesday January 13), the Haitian government believes that between 30-50,0000 of its people were killed in this devastating disaster. The hospital in Port-au-Prince was also destroyed which leaves many of its injured homeless and unable to access the kind of medical help they need. This is why there is an big need for volunteers and donations.  I myself have family in Haiti who, as of right now, I have not heard from.  I have no idea where they are, if they're ok, if they'll be safe.  I could not sit idly by and worry without doing anything.  This is why I am writing this post and working with Healing Hands.  This is also why I understand the need for volunteers and help.  I cannot be there, but I very much appreciate those who are...and those who give; Who gives their money, and most of all, their time.

There are many non-profit organizations working round the clock to organize relief for Haiti. One of these is Healing Hands for Haiti. Healing Hands for Haiti has been providing help since 1998 and now, in Haiti’s ultimate need for help, they are doing even more to provide and comfort. They are a company that originates from Salt Lake City Utah. They can be contacted at healinghandsforhaiti.com. The best donation right now is money because it can reach them much faster than anything else. Also, because no one has any idea of all the things that Haiti would need considering that things are still in chaos. But anything anyone is able to provide would be very helpful. Mika, one of the owners of MIkarose clothing company is working with them to organize anykind of help they can provide. They are gathering supplies for a container that Helping Hands for Haiti is planning on shipping to Haiti this weekend. Please go to their website mikarose.com to find out more information.