Who would you have been?

We look back in history and often think one of two things.  One, "What an amazing and brave person who did so much for..." or two, "I can't believe that anyone would do something like that, it's so..."  Sometimes we think "I would/could never do that."  Is that true?  I could not help but wonder, who would I have been. Am I who I am today because there is a basic part of me which is unchanging.  Or am I a product of my environment?  I read this quote by Bruce Barton that says, 

 "If you have anything really valuable to contribute to the world it will come through the expression of your own personality, that single spark of divinity that sets you off and makes you different from every other living creature." 

Is that spark of divinity infinite?  Would Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Eleanor Roosevelt, Winston Churchill, Susan B. Anthony, or Martin Luther King have been who they were if they had been born at a different time or place?  Well, I believe that even if they had not had the issues they had to deal with, they would have been fighters for other things.  They would have stood for something whether great or small.  Yes, we are a product of our environments, but that is not all of who we are.  Look at this quote by Susan B. Anthony,  does it sound like she is just the person she was suppose to be for the time she was born in? 

"Cautious, careful people, always casting about to preserve their reputation and social standing, never can bring about a reform. Those who are really in earnest must be willing to be anything or nothing in the world's estimation, and publicly and privately, in season and out, avow their sympathy with despised and persecuted ideas and their advocates, and bear the consequences." 

No one wants to be persecuted, friendless, or hurt.  But there are people out there who sees things that are not right, things that needs fixing, and they are unable and unwilling to just do nothing. Could we have seen an injustice and done nothing?  Who are we?  Who am I?  It's so easy to look back and think, "I am not that brave" or "I am not that cruel."

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't believe that Hitler and Stalin were meant to be cruel people.  I believe that they had strong personalities that were willing to change things.  Unfortunately for the world, they always made the wrong decisions.  They used that power to hurt, submit, and commit acts of such cruelty that I cringe to think of them.  My heart sorrows for those who experienced the results of those wrong and weak decisions.  But it was a series of small erroneous choices that lead to the hate and violence felt by a large group of people.  Who are we and who are we willing to be?  What decisions would we have made?  What decisions have we made?

We don't necessarily have to change the world...at least not at first.  But we can change the lives of a few people around us.  If we died today, what would people say about us?  What would our friends and family?  We can change their lives for the better.  Again I ask, who are we willing to be?  Our core personalities do not change, but we can change how our personalities are directed outwards.  I am so hesitant and unassertive sometimes that I wonder at the decisions I would have made in the place of Martin Luther King.  What decisions could I make today if I am faced with a major issue?  I don't know and because of that I need to start working on the daily things I do/say now so that in the future, I can answer this question unhesitatingly.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."  Edmund Burke

Educational Progression

       One day, I was listening to conference at work when suddenly the idea came to my mind that I needed to apply for my masters.  I sort of laughed at the idea b/c that seems like such a waste of time to me.  Why would I apply for my masters when I am going to apply to med school?  But then randomly, my co-worker started talking about how she's never regretted getting her masters.  I thought, "well, I better look into it."  I looked at BYU and the only masters they really had in the sciences was the masters in science education.  I was DEFINITELY not interested in that.  I looked at UVU and their programs sucked.  And so I finally looked at the U and they had a masters in pathology.  I thought it was perfect!  It was located in the med school.  I felt like it was a program I needed to do. What a great way to prepare for med school!  Around the time I was looking at that, it was the 5th or so and I saw the application deadline had been on the first.  I couldn't understand it.  How can I feel so guided to do somethings only for it not to work out?

       Well, I felt like I needed to contact the admissions office and when I did, they said they did accept late applications but I would have to check with the department I wanted to get my master's in to be sure if THEY accepted late applicants.  When I contacted them the next day, they secretary said it was too late and that letters had been sent out and I would have to wait until spring.  I saw no point to waiting until spring.  By then I would be done with most of my pre-med classes.  But if I could start the masters in the fall, it would take me as long to finish that as it would my pre-med classes.  It sounded perfect!  Perfect until I found out I couldn't do it.  I was very disappointed.  But then, the idea came into my head to contact the director of the program and so I did.  After talking to her for awhile, she said that if I could get my application in as soon as possible, she would consider me.  I was overjoyed.
      I worked as hard as I could to get everything to her.  The transcripts ended up taking a little more time to get there than I hoped, but it got there.  I think about two weeks later I received a letter.  I was not home when it came and so while with Mika, I asked my mom to open it for me. She played a cruel trick by telling me it was a rejection letter :)  But in all actuality, it was an acceptance letter and now I start the program August 23rd!

     I don't know which one of you have read The Alchemist (which I highly recommend), but I feel like I am following my omens.  And because I am everything is lining up so that I can accomplish my goals.  Life, right now, if filled with so much possibilities.  I love it!