Thursday, March 21, 2013

Past post revisited

This is a post I wrote in December of 2008

Pros and Cons


The pros and cons of working graveyard.



Pros: -I can't stand having to get up early Monday mornings after a wonderful weekend.

-ummm...I know there was more. I will have to think of it on my day off.



Cons: -Miss all the wonderful social activities at night when most people are clocked out of work.

-Go to sleep in the dark and wake up in the dark (at least in the winter).

-The human body was just not meant to work that way (what with cortisol levels and all). Even when you sleep well doing the day, you're still tired during the night.



I guess I can't make this list as impartially as I would like to since it's 0242 in the morning and I am at work ans still have three and a half hours to go

This is still all true.  And it is again around 0236 in the morning as I am writing this at work.  Maybe I should try writing this list when I am off and not tired?

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Revisiting past desires

Back in December of 2008 , I wrote this blog post:


What my ad for a man would look like


Wanted:

Fun loving (playful)-sense of humor (I need someone who can and will make me laugh)

Affectionate/Loving***

Lover of books, music, and movies (foreign films a must)

Faithful

Considerate

Easy going/Does not loose their temper easily*****THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TO ME.

Likes/Loves to dance (this is a hard one since most guys I know don't fulfill this. Ironic considering the pheromones flying around when dancing is involved. How can man not want to participate in this ritual?)

Intelligent (but not cocky about it)/curious

Not afraid to try things

Ambitious

Creative

Doesn't care what others think (besides, of course, me)/Doesn't need to prove himself.

Allows me to express myself w/o making me feel judged, embarrassed, or silly

Selfless

***Someone who I can be myself around****

Patient/Not easily angered***

Passionate



Okay, so far that's my list. And again, since it is 3:25 in the morning, I know I am forgetting a few things. I will have to add those later. Even though I have some stars next to some but not next to others, that does not mean the others are not very important to me. The stared items just happen to be things that I have had recent experience with and have realized just how dear they are. I don't know, hard to explain. Anyone who has any inputs please let me know. I'm curious about what might be on you guy's list.     Having recently been married (a little over six months but have been dating for the last two years), I would like to comment on what kind of man I find myself with.  Does he measure up to my list ?  or is he lacking?  Let's start in the order I had previously listed.   Fun loving (playful)-sense of humor (I need someone who can and will make me laugh)
Humor is very important to my guy.  He does comedy improv on the side and he is fantastic.  He has me laughing night and day.


Affectionate/Loving***

There is not a time when I am next to Darian that he does not reach over to give me some form of physical affection (hug, quick touch, etc...).  And there is not a time when he does not give me the words of affirmation that I need.  He is physically and emotionally loving.

Lover of books, music, and movies (foreign films a must)

He loves books, music, and movies (including foreign films).  We don't always like the same things, but what's important to me is that he likes them.  Sometimes we'll read together, even if it's from different books and we are just sitting next to each other.


Faithful

He is in both action and heart.  Too honest and too sincere to be otherwise.


Considerate

I work the graveyard shift and often come home tired and hungry.  Sometimes when I get home, I find that my honey had woken up early and left me breakfast before he headed off to work.  I cannot describe how it makes me feel.


Easy going/Does not lose their temper easily*****THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TO ME.

Darian is so calm that he helps me bridle my own temper.  It's EXTREMELY hard to get him to lose his temper.


Likes/Loves to dance (this is a hard one since most guys I know don't fulfill this. Ironic considering the pheromones flying around when dancing is involved. How can man not want to participate in this ritual?)

This is one is a little tricky.  He does not like to dance in the exact way that I do.  He likes the Waltz, ballet and other traditional dances.  I like those dances too, but am very passionate about Latin dancing.  Even though he does not get as excited as I do about the kind of dancing I like to do, he is always willing to take me dancing.

Intelligent (but not cocky about it)/curious

Graduated with a degree in Mathematics.  Need I say more?

Not afraid to try things

The only thing he refuses to try is blood sausages.


Ambitious

Currently owns a business and plans on owning more in the futures.  Plans to retire early.


Creative
Draws, sings, creates amazing things with origami, comes up with some fun and interesting dates.  He does creative things all the time.

Doesn't care what others think (besides, of course, me)/Doesn't need to prove himself.

Sometimes I have to say, "Love, don't do/say that.  What will people think?"  And he'll usually answer by telling me "But that's how I feel."  or "But that's what I think."  I love the fact that he is always himself no matter who is around.  It's ironic that not caring what other people think/say is on my list and yet I'm the one who has to work on it. 
Allows me to express myself w/o making me feel judged, embarrassed, or silly

I have grown so much because (and this is going to sound corny and silly) he gives me wings to fly.  I feel much more confident in myself as a person because he encourages me to be myself no matter what.  Although sometimes I think he must regret it ;-)

Selfless

One night, he was helping me relax my hair.  It didn't not work out the way I had planned.  He stayed up until 2:30 in the morning helping me to get it to look the way I wanted without a word of complaint, although he had to get up at 6am for work.  I felt terrible that he did this, but completely moved at the sacrifice he was willing to make for me.


***Someone who I can be myself around****

See above comment under "Allows me to express myself w/o making me feel judged, embarrassed, or silly.

Patient/Not easily angered***

I don't think we would have worked out as a couple if he was not patient.  I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination.  I don't think relationships work w/o patience.  Darian's patience with me also help me know I can be myself around him.

Passionate

Yes!
Darian is not perfect.  Neither am I.  But I think we are a pretty good match. When we were dating, I was very good at looking at his flaws.  I wanted to marry with my eyes wide open.  I had seen too many bad marriages and was afraid to make a mistake in whom I ended up marrying.  For a long time, I was afraid to give my heart because I did not want to be blinded by love.  Unfortunately, I think I focused on the flaws way too much and almost lost an amazing man who was perfect for me. As I was reading this list, I was surprised that I could answer yes to the qualities I put there.  My list has changed often throughout the years, but when I wrote this one, I made sure that it covered the core of qualities that I knew would make me happy.  I looked at previous list I had made the years before and narrowed it down to the ones that kept repeating. It's good to know I was right or that I knew myself well enough to know what could make me happy in the end. 
We are not perfect as a couple. At times we frustrate or sadden each other, but at the end of the day there is no one else I would rather go home to.  And at the end of the day if someone asks me if I am happy, I can honestly answer a resounding "Yes."